Why Realizing Your Wants vs. Needs In a Relationship is SO Important

Getting into a relationship can be a very tricky thing — the vibes have to be there, the timing has to be right, and most importantly — a good foundation has to be built before making those big steps.

That’s why it is super important that before even stepping into relationship territory — you get yourself right first and determine what’s best for you….before even including anyone else.

Really sit down and simply ask yourself: Do I know what I want?

Then ask yourself: Do I know what I need?

Although these two questions sound really similar, they’re actually two totally different things and are really the keys to helping you find the best dude for you.

Lemme break it down, boo:

See, a want is something preferred, desired, but not necessarily something you have to have in your life. It’s something you can compromise on or adjust to if you don’t get it (Ex. your preferred “type,” his looks, the way he dresses, etc.)

While a need is something necessary, definite, and is something that you just can not live with out. You ain’t budging on it at all and if you don’t get it then yo ass is definitely gonna make like a banana and split. BUH-BYE! (Ex. your need for honesty, communication, trust, etc.)

Everybody has ‘wants’ and ‘needs’ when it comes to a relationship — so it’s crucial that you figure out what yours are before making any big moves.

Trust me, figuring this out early has multiple benefits:

1. You waste less time

There’s really no need in wasting your time on a dude that does not satisfy your needs. These are qualities that you have to have in order to be happy so if he doesn’t bring those qualities to the table then there’s no need in going any further than the talking stage with ’em.

2. You’ll be more confident in your final decision

Discovering your wants and needs before heading down relationship lane will help you become confident in the ultimate decision you do end up making. You won’t ever have to wonder ‘what if’ or second guess the one you end up making bae because you’ll already be certain about all the qualities he has.

3. It’ll save you disappointment later on down the road…

Nothing is more disappointing than jumping into a relationship with someone, learning more about them as a person, and realizing that they only satisfy your wants and barely any of your needs.

You quickly realize y’all have little to nothing in common forreal then you’ll be pissed and left wondering, “what did I ever see in his ass?”

This is merely because the wants always get old real quick — the needs are the qualities that’ll ultimately hold you two down in the long run (the trust, the honesty, the support, etc.)

Trust me, I’m only speaking from experience — I’ve been there, done that and it really sucks.

So don’t make that same mistake, take your time and learn as much about your potential partner as possible…

But most importantly — don’t forget to take the time out to learn as much about yourself, too.


2 thoughts on “Why Realizing Your Wants vs. Needs In a Relationship is SO Important

  1. AdventureHen says:

    B.Nicki, I wish there was a way for me to ‘like’ this post so everyone can see how hot this post is. I shared it to one of my friends who is questioning on dating a new potential boyfriend and don’t want her to jump the gun just because she wants someone to hold her hand. Thanks for the post. 🙂


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