Disclaimer: Before you sip on this very opinionated tea — I just want to warn you that it is just that: my opinion. And in no way, shape, or form am I aiming to throw shade or bring down my fellow black women — everything I touch on is simply coming from my own personal experience, doing, and observations growing up. So with that being said — this tea will be served bold, no sugar added, and definitely hot so sip slow and lets really get into it y’all.
There’s nothing I love more than being a young black woman — I take so much pride in us as a whole and I’m a firm believer in our Black Girl Magic.
Black women are in full effect right now — I love it — but I also feel like there’s a few more things we can work on together to push us even further in the right direction.
Check ’em out:
1. Let’s switch up our lingo a little.
We have a lot of bomb sayings — but I think the ones that GOTTA go are YAAAASSS B—-! or BAD B—-….or anything else involving the B-word forreal.
I know, y’all. As tempting as it is to say, we have to be more careful and conscious of the labels we choose to describe ourselves and each other.
Instead of saying YASSSS B—- — I’d honestly love to see it replaced with YASSSSS QUEENNN!
Or, just dropped completely.
We honestly don’t need it to get our point across — plus, it unconsciously gives these dudes out here the impression that we like or identify with this derogatory term..
So in the end — they will believe that it’s okay to refer to us as such — in their conversation, music, videos, etc. It’ll be an endless hot mess…
So it’s essential that we as black women clap back and decide which terms are the best descriptions of us. When we do that, everyone else will have no choice but to follow.
2. Support Each Other!
I often feel like there’s always this false sense of competition that exists between us black women.
Each one of us is just secretly dedicated to getting ahead of the other when there’s really no race out here to begin with! Instead of being like that, we need to dedicate ourselves to supporting one another more.
And I’m not talking taking the occasional selfies together or faking like you’re going to help out.
Lets really support each other’s businesses, goals, and ambitions. Lets collaborate. Lets link up. Lets enlighten. Lets buy. Lets SLAY together!
Fab, put it so dopely –yes, we’re movements by ourselves but we could be BOSSES when we’re together.
I mean, look at Bey and Nick. Need I really say more?
3. Judge less, embrace more.
Wooh, chile. Ain’t nothing more lowkey-intense than walking into a room full of black girls (especially ones you do not know) sometimes…
Chile, I get anxious. Palms start sweating. Guard all the way up and ready. Preparing my mean mug just in case a chick wanna try it…
But why does it have to be like that?
Nobody’s more critical of black women than other black women. Period.
I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve seen other black girls completely dragging and dogging another black girl they haven’t even met. Or, picking apart all of another black girl’s looks before she even spends a full ten minutes in the room. Or, a black girl automatically assuming another girl is throwing shade or coming for her when she definitely wasn’t….
(I’m guilty of this too. Sadly.)
That’s got to stop.
Which leads me to my next point…
4. Uplift Each Other!
Please, ladies. We have to. It all starts with us, I promise you.
Giving out a genuine compliment or lending a piece of advice to another black woman goes a long way.
It’s so crazy to me when I compliment another black girl — and they end up looking at me in almost utter shock or disbelief.
Sometimes, they even end up side-eyeing me like “Is shortie tryna be funny? Uh uh. No she didn’t…“
They literally just can’t believe that I — another black female — said something nice. To them.
And that baffles me because that’s what we’re supposed to be able to do for one another. That should be simple. easy. effortless. Not the other way around.
5. Fully embrace our beautiful blackness.
And now we’ve come to my very last and probably one of my most important points.
Lets please truly embrace our beautiful black selves.
Lets stop claiming we mixed, when half of us are NOT. Lets celebrate all of our natural hair types and make all of ’em HAIR GOALS whether it’s wavy, curly, or kinky — it’s all beautiful.
Lets continue loving, nurturing and riding for our black men….
But lets also start holding the ignorant ones more accountable for their BULL!
(blatant disrespect, cheating, lying)!!!!!! No more excuses — leave ’em
And for Pete Sakes — this light skin vs. dark skin mess has got to stop! I’m honestly SICK and TIRED of it!! It’s old, it’s ignorant (research it, ladies.), and it’s pitting us beautiful black women against each other when we need to be rockin’ together!
SMH. I really had to get that off my chest y’all — but I promise it’s because I love my black ladies far too much and I am fully aware of the power that we possess….
Not only do we have the power to change the perception of ourselves but we also have the power to change the world’s perception of us as well.
Lets do it, my loves. Together.