Ciara‘s recent engagement to NFL boo Russell Wilson (congrats by the way!) has really been on my mind a lot lately for the last couple of days and I really wanna take the time to tackle why…
I think the thing that really struck me the most about it all is actually the saying Ciara chose to caption her engagement photo on Instagram, which simply read:
I Feel Complete. ❤
I think the craziest part about that line is the huge amount of weight just those three little words carry.
To feel complete by definition is to feel whole, to feel at your greatest, to feel practically perfect.
I think all my life I’ve gone about love in a rather interesting way — like Ciara, I’ve always seemed to seek out the help of another person to help make me feel complete, whole, or at my greatest.
To be completely real — I’ve always considered myself a “relationship kinda girl” — who honestly dreaded the thought of being single, alone, or even worse lonely…
And now I’ve really just come to a point in my life where I’m finally asking myself: Brittany, Why?
Honestly, I’m beginning to understand that the whole reason behind it is actually pretty simple: it was my own way of avoiding the real issues — the issues within myself.
For so long, I’ve always been known among my friends and peers as the girl who “has all her sh-t together,” “is definitely going places,” and “the go-to girl for advice.”
And for so long, I’ve always lived my life this way — trying my very hardest to live up to these false standards placed upon me and to keep up this particular image everyone else had established for me.
And the consequence of all this is — I’ve never ever truly taken out the time to really address my own flaws and have gradually developed a no-tolerance policy for anyone else’s — which has greatly reflected in my relationships with people.
Because in my mind, I’ve always been held at this certain standard — I find myself constantly holding those around me to the same harsh degree.
I literally have no patience, and am quick to cut off somebody in my circle if they aren’t cutting it in my eyes. My best friend recently admitted to me that a lot of times she even wonders if I have an icebox where my heart used to be…
(Yes, hella corny indeed but that’s why I love her.)
These problems are just a few of my issues and I’m starting to realize that instead of tackling these problems head-on — I’ve just relied on my relationships to fix something only I can truly mend.
So instead of relying on a better half to become whole — I’m now vowing to myself and encouraging the rest of us ladies to work on becoming our own better whole first.
It’s never easy addressing our flaws, insecurities, or imperfections ladies — I’m definitely right there with y’all, forreal — but I promise it is truly necessary before involving anyone else in our lives romantically.
I mean, just stop and take the time to imagine if two wholes happened to come together in a relationship — the possibilities of long-lasting love there would literally be endless….